Thoughts on Older Children Part 4: Who Drew the Map?

Remember, who not only holds the map but also drew it perfectly.

This is so, so hard for us to remember. We live in a cause and effect world and so much of what we do in life, predicts the outcome. And goodness knows, I worked so hard to train my kids, tried to teach them the right way to be, spent time counseling them, bringing them to church, and showing them Christ. And so yes, I expected that as adults they should be productive members of this world, attend church faithfully, and be godly followers of Christ.

But then when I think about how I parented and look deeply into myself, I know that I was not faithful in many, many ways. All moms can look back and remember countless times when we failed in our parental duty. And then I am reminded that we live by grace alone. In more ways than just redemption. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't have control over our children like I would want.

This is a hard lesson to remember at times, that we are not in control of our child's future. We hate losing control. As much as we put our lives into raising them, they still stand alone before God and are responsible for their actions.

"Yes it is true - God will remain faithful even when you're not,
because his faithfulness rests on who he is, not on what you're doing."
{Paul David Tripp - New Morning Mercies}

Another thing both My Sweetie and I have noticed about our children, is that like trees, they have a bend to them. What I mean by this, is that they tend to already be bent a certain way, no matter how hard we have worked with them in certain areas. These can be character flaws, bad qualities and traits, and things that ultimately, God will use to sanctify our children. Even though we can see genetically common things with our children, they are not cookie cutter images of us. 

Some of us might see our older children make wrong decisions, bad friends, or even walk away from the faith. Fellow moms, these things are not your fault. God is working in your child's life, just like he is working in yours. We do not know the end of the story, only our Sovereign Lord knows that. And, if we saw the whole story, from beginning to end through God's eyes, we would agree that our older children are exactly where they need to be.

"Yes, your life is messy and hard, but that's not a failure of the plan; 
it is the plan. It's God working to complete what he's begun in you." 
{Paul David Tripp - New Morning Mercies}

When I read quotes like the one above, I am thankful for God's grace. Truly, if it was up to me, and my children's spiritual future was a reflection of my parenting, they would be destined for hell. I have failed in so many ways, and any good in me or my children is only by Christ and from his work on the cross.

Keep the faith. Remember who wrote this story, drew the map for your adult children, and planned it all perfectly. Have faith that our God, who is an amazing, awesome God, has a plan for each of us. A plan that will ultimately glorify Him.

Thoughts on Older Children Part 3: Let Them Fly
Thoughts on Older Children Part 2: What Did We Expect?
Thoughts on Older Children Part 1: Communication is Huge


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